"i am happy, i am beautiful"

chris took me to michelle’s resting site in the side of the mountains and the wind picked up as soon as we stepped out of the car. chris told me of an ancient saying that attributes strong winds to the passing of great souls. she told me each time she’s been to visit michelle the leaves have been dancing with the headstones. what a great soul we were feeling. michelle’s headstone has not been placed yet, so we stood above a patch of wilted grass and a small placard that said

‘michelle killpack – age 44.’

chris pointed how far cars were parked and backed up to come to the burial and it didn’t for one second surprise me to think about all the people michelle affected so positively. chris misses her sister so much and i could tell how hard it was for her to come out there and i was so thankful she took the time to take me.


chris goes back to the car i take a few minutes to look around. leaves are still whipping around and the purple and pink flowers seem to expand into the sky. my heart begins to race as i realize that i had seen this place before. this exact place, i have no doubt. for a moment i can’t place it though, because i know i’ve never been here before. an ease passes over me with the wind and i see it all with a new kind of clearness. this is a place i wrote about in a short story years ago.

sometimes michelle is still with us and you can hear her say,

“i am happy, i am beautiful.”