ghosts

the office is quiet now with everyone gone but me. computer motors buzzing just like the ghost in a nightmare i once had. i was maybe 9 or 10 and i can still picture it so clearly. a surreal street with surreal street lights that didn't light up anything except the ghost. and this pitch black ghost was taller than the street lights so i could only see it from the waist down. legs shuffling down the street, me unable to get any distance between it. and that was it, for what seemed like hours. i don't know why it scared me so much. i think about it often. but maybe the most memorable thing about this particular nightmare, other than the fact it is still so vivid in my mind, is that night was the last night i remember ever waking up and going to get in bed with mom and dad because i was scared. it's been nearly twenty years and i can still see myself waking up shaking and sweating and feeling dizzy like i was being hurled through the middle of the universe and asking mom if i could squeeze in next to her.

the ghost in the office right now is pounding at my chest. trying to get to something, maybe. looking for something inside me, maybe. but it is pounding and pounding and i don't know if i should let it in.