Rainbows in My Head

I couldn't sleep this morning; there were rainbows in my head.

It was hours before the alarm and the pitch black behind my eyes was brighter than the sun. Blues like a bubblegum Popsicle melting over my fingers. Yellows like the striped sweater Grandpa wore when we all sang The Battle Hymn of the Republic at his funeral. Reds like the color of her skin against the color of my truck the day we both called in sick and drove to Galveston with the windows down and the sun on our shoulders.

I went to the window and opened the curtains and it was as quiet as the dreams I wake-up and forget. This little town makes no sound before the sun comes up. The birds hide in their holes and the cars gather frost. Everyone soundless and asleep, waiting uncomfortably for the reverberation of life to wake them. Even the wind seems it has nowhere to go this early in the morning.

Grays like the 3 a.m. sky I was looking into. Grays like the thick, colorless snow on the hills beyond the parking lot. I stood watching the sky in the dark morning and my breath froze against the single pane glass.

I blinked and the rainbow was still bright behind my closed my eyes, and then I thought that maybe I didn't need sound anymore. Maybe the images in my head were enough. Oranges like my new Christmas basketballs. Violets like the fireworks exploding over the lake that first summer home from the desert war. Indigos like the scarves she wrapped around her smile.

A squirrel darted across the sidewalk and then stopped in the middle of the walkway's low light. It sat calmer than I've ever seen a squirrel. No fidgeting, no worrying, no nervous attention span. The world is a different place so early in the morning. I wonder what the sun thinks of us when it's not here to watch. I wonder if it knows we all just fall to sleep and wait for it to come again.

I stood at the window and watched this little town make no sound. But maybe the images were enough. So I leaned in to the cold and closed my eyes. Greens like the smell of the ocean blowing in my face the first time she kissed me.