Chester looked across the table with only one thought running through his mind, but he had to look for awhile because his thoughts don't run very fast. So, while he waited for his thought to get from one side of his trans-fatty filled brain to the other, Chester simply pointed at his mother’s left elbow, which, unbeknownst to his mother, was resting in such a way that Chester thought would be worth pointing at.
Chester’s mother was a lovely woman of so many endearing qualities, none of which was her tendency to microwave entire gallons of ice-cream into a liquid state because “why waste energy chewing?” she always said to herself. Chester and his mother had a wonderful relationship, one any parent or child would dream of having. There was a genuine connection between the two of them, something science, religion, or even Jeopardy can’t teach. How else could Chester actually tell where his mother’s elbow was below her multiple layers of human insulation unless he really loved her like a son should? No, Chester wasn’t your ordinary 3-year old, and his mother wasn’t really sure how she gave birth to him.
Sweat beat down Chester’s cute little hernia inflated cheeks as he struggled keeping his arm up. Everyone in the room felt a streak of nervous energy sweep across the room. Chester’s 2-year old brother reached for a Dr. Pepper with his right hand, but it was too late because his left hand had already stuffed the remaining bite of a hot apple pie into his mouth. The excitement neared climax.
Deep breath, Chester, deep breath.
The sweat began pooling inside Chester’s ears and his mother just then turned toward him, obviously tasting something momentous about to happen. Chester began breathing harder and harder as his thought was getting closer to the finish line. Deep breath, Chester, you can do it.
He lowered his arm and looked at his mother, then his little brother, then back at his mother, then took another deep breath, then shifted in his chair, then realized that there were still fries left on his tray and wondered what he had just wasted his time doing.
